Twitter True Blood interviews: @MerlottesBar, @JasonBT, and @KitchenBitch

Read the backstory to these interviews.

Sam Merlotte | @MerlottesBar

Sam’s porch

RW: Most of the townsfolk seem to have lost time over the past few days. You don’t seem disturbed by any of it. Were you affected in any way?

Sam Merlotte: They sure do seem to be confused about what happened. I don’t think I was affected, but I’m not real sure I’d know if I was. Isn’t that how amnesia kinda works?

RW: Yeah, but they’re describe it like an ongoing series of blackout where they were one place, one second, then another, with no idea how they got there, and an inkling that they’d been up to something. Have you seen any strange behaviour? I understand some vampires have come to town, and it’s hard to get a feel for this woman Maryann. Do you think any of them had something to do with the chaos?

SM: Some folks have been actin’ a little funnier than usual, but I don’t know if the vampires have anything to do with it. I heard the Feds busted a still way out in the country that was makin’ pure ethanol vodka. That’d make anyone act crazy. I don’t know much about Maryann. She’s come in a few times for a bite, but I’ve never really talked to her much. I think she’s some kinda social worker? She was lettin’ Tara stay with her for a bit.

RW: And now she’s disappeared. (She was like a cosmic squatter!) Do you have any idea where she went?

SM: She has? Huh. Yeah, I remember where I was. I was at the bar for most of it, just like most nights.

RW: Which brings me to Daphne, one of your waitresses. She’s another one who blew in and out of town. It sounds like you two really hit it off. Why wouldn’t she stay around longer?

(I know this is sneaky, but Sam is so private, if I don’t come from behind one at least one question, I’ll never know if I can trust him to ever tell the truth.)

SM: Yeah, that’s a real shame about Daphne. She ran into some trouble I guess, didn’t really come out on the winnin’ end of it. She and I were kinda close for a while, but it didn’t work out.

RW: . . . I’ve seen the picture. Her heart was torn out. I don’t mean to make you talk about uncomfortable things. But, man, what was it like to find a body, let alone someone you were involved with?

(Click the “Read More” link below to continue with this interview and read more from @JasonBT and @KitchenBitch!)

SM: It sucked. And that’s all I really wanna say about it.

RW: I’m sorry, man. I really am. Alright, easier stuff. You’re not originally from Bon Temps. What drew you here?

SM: I like it here. Life’s pretty quiet usually, I got good customers, and I can own a little piece of land, which I couldn’t do as easily in a bigger city. Everybody gets in everybody else’s business and I hear most of it at some point because it all comes through the bar, but that’s a small town for ya. If folks stopped gossiping, they’d be dead, and we’ve had enough of that around here lately.

RW: Tell me more about Merlotte’s. And why did you name it after yourself? That surprised me a bit, because as such a private person, I would’ve thought something more like “Watering Hole” or “Boozin’ in Bon Temps.” Is it important for you to put your name on something?

SM: I like ownin’ a bar. It’s somewhere people can come and have a cheap drink, good food, and maybe a game of pool. You don’t have to be fancy or on some list somewhere or anything to get in, either. It’s just a small town bar. I named it Merlotte’s because that was the easiest thing to name it. I’m not good at thinking up cute names for things. It’s a bar, it’s owned by Merlotte, so it’s “Merlotte’s Bar.” It’s definitely part of how folks see me, though, which is understandable. Folks see me at the store and they ask me about which game’ll be on this weekend or whether I got in some special beer or whatever.

RW: Thanks, Sam. You’re doing a good thing, letting everyone hang their hat in one joint, vamps included.

(I can’t see Sam being a part of any scheme to kidnap Bill. I didn’t ask him about Sookie. Seemed too close to home. But, I’m pretty sure it would devastate her if he even knew of a plan. Although, a little birdie has told me more about what Sam may have done the night of the wedding. If it’s true, that would have hurt like a son of a bitch. Still, revenge doesn’t seem like Sam’s speed.)

Jason Stackhouse | @JasonBT

Merlotte’s

Rebecca Wilcott: Why did you join The Fellowship of the Sun? If ordered, do you really think you could have killed someone like Vampire Bill?

Jason Stackhouse: I wasn’t sure what I was suppose to be in life and the FotS seemed like it would be good for me. I prolly woulda killed a vamp if Steve Newlin told me too. Woulda drove a tiny stake right through ’em.

RW: Now that you’ve left, how do you feel about the Newlins?

JS: Oh, I dunno. Anybody who messes with my family ain’t no good. Sarah had great puddin’.

RW: I like pudding. Maybe she would share her recipe.

Do you still consider yourself a soldier of God? Who, or what, so you think you’re fighting for?

JS: Hope God ain’t mad at me for anything I’ve done. I’m just tryin’ ta live as best I can. I’ll fight for my friends and family if I have too.

RW: You’re pretty T’d up, a real guy’s guy. Describe what it means to you to be a man.

JS: I guess it’d be to fix what ya broke. Make what ya done wrong right. Maudette would scream, “Man your so damn good” so ya have to be good too.

RW: Were you around when Daphne’s body was found in the freezer at Merlotte’s? I still don’t have a clear idea what happened. What are people saying?

JS: I never met Daphne. Heard she was a looker though. Well, uhm, Andy says Eggs cut her heart out for Maryann, but he’s dead now, justice served.

RW: Speaking of murder, Andy was after you for a bunch of them just recently, and now you seem chummy. That’s a big switch. What changed?

JS: Are we chummy? Huh, I dunno if we are. Andy is always suspicious of everybody. Maybe he’s the one hidin’ somethin’.

RW: I’ve heard some pretty strange theories about Maryann. What’s your take on her and what everyone was getting up? Were you affected too?

JS: Oh, yup, heard she was an Alien. People got carried away. Partied too hard and had orgies. Sexy older woman havin’ an affect on me? Maybe.

RW: O.K. Help me out. Sam is totally mum. I mean, no one really remembers anything, but he’s particularly quiet, like he’s keeping a secret. Do you know something about him that he doesn’t want others to know?

JS: Oh, Sam is always like that. Nothin’ new there. I don’t know much about Sam ‘cept he was one of them nudie people.

RW: Yeah, I keep hearing that too.

Well, tell me about Sookie, then. Apparently, Sookie can see people’s thoughts or something. Does it run in the family?

JS: Yeah, momma thought she was crazy, and daddy thought she was the devil. She’s always been able to know what your thinkin’, but Gran taught Sook right from wrong and she tries not to listen, to be polite. I wish I could hear what people are thinkin’, then I’d know if them girls really do think I’m the best they ever had, or just sayin’ it.

RW: Do you think a vampire will ever be good enough for your sister?

JS: I dunno, if Sook likes Bill then I guess he’s O.K. Eddie was pretty nice too. Guess not all vamps are blood thirsty killers.

(I’m ruling out Jason as a suspect. I could see him getting roped into a plan if he was sittin’ knockin’ boots with Sarah Newlin, but, left to his own devices, does anyone actually think he’d be able to pull it off? Perhaps further investigation is called for. Maybe if I put Jason under stress, he’ll crack. Push ups. I should interview him while he’s doing lots and lots of push ups.)

Lafayette Reynolds | @KitchenBitch

Merlotte’s kitchen, somewhat distracted by Lafayette’s sweet little rump

Rebecca Wilcott: You handcuffed Tara, then she escaped. You followed after to Sookie’s house knowing Maryann would probably be there. What were you prepared to do?

Lafayette Reynolds: Blow da witches head off but when ya don’t know what your fightin’ might as well be shootin’ blanks.

RW: So, what happened when you got there?

LF: Maryann did her vibratin’ thang and that was all she wrote. When you are under the maenads spell you don’t remember a thing. Thank da lawd fo’ dat!

RW: Man, that is some kind of crazy. What’s the first thing you remember after you came to?

LF: We were all outside Sookie’s house. I looked around and saw the whole town. They looked confused didn’t know what had happened. I’m glad I don’t remember uh thing!

RW: And now that everyone’s back to work, there are all these conspiracy theories. Do you have any suspicions of your own?

LF: Well I know why they blacked out but my lips are sealed. People have always made up the most ridiculous stories even if they hold some water.

RW: Everyone’s lips are sealed. Tighter than a chastity belt. I almost wish I’d had a go at this Mary . . . scratch that.

I keep asking, but no one seems to know. Still, do you have any idea where Maryann is? (Note: Wait a second, did he say “maenad?”)

LF: Oh she sent back ta hell or what ever she thinks is hell but that body was just a vessel. So, maybe she might come back lookin’ like somebody else.

RW: This is so beyond what I expected. Vamps is one thing, but . . .

Man, Sookie. She would have seen it all. You must feel for her knowing she witnessed everything.

LF: I do, I saw part of dat evil and wouldn’t wanna know what all dat happened. Sookie is stronger than she look. Powerful!

RW: And you’re not curious one bit to remember anything?

LF: Nope, but ya know it aint da first time I blacked out and did things I shouldn’t.

RW: Hah, hah. Fair enough! So, is it business as usual for you? Oh! What’s this about Eric, I’m hearing? You drank?

LF: wouldn’t say it business as usual cuz I’m dealin’ V fo’ a vampire. Can’t tell ya how wrong its is. Vamps do not approve and the human laws are against it too. Some days I don’t know how I manage ta put a smile on my pretty face.

(I can’t see Lafayette caring enough to want to steal a vamp. He’s a survivor. Why rock the boat? On an unrelated note, dat iz wun tasty crumpet.)

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